Monday, January 28, 2013

I believe you..

"Mom, you are not believing me." my littlest declared as she was giving her side of a story about a fight between her and her brother.
She was right.
I wasn't believing her.
I don't believe her, or any of my children for that matter.
I have shown myself time and time again to be a parent that sees children as being "UN-believable".

And through her tears, and blatantly honest heart, I made a decision to not pass this mindset on anymore.
What was done to me, does NOT have to be done to my children.

Our western civilization has taught us that children are born selfish and sinners.
We are taught that they lie. They are to be seen and not heard. They are annoying when they don't serve us or act as we, their parents, deem as rightful behavior. (especially in public)
I mean.. God, it reflects on US right?

I was raised in a home where my parents did abide by all of these mindsets... with all these lies about children and who they are.
Being raised under their roof, I was never believed.
I remember telling the truth about situations, being disbelieved and spanked terribly.

So I figured out really quick how to skirt under the radar and "be a good and pleasing child."
The name of the game was appease appease appease.
Conform conform conform.
To this day, the unraveling of the belief that I am bad.. I am a bad girl, has been an ongoing process.
It feels endless.
"Will it ever end? Will I ever believe fully that I am good?"

I don't want this for my treasures.
I want different.
I want them to know they are GOOD, and PURE, and BELIEVABLE!

Eastern civilizations believe the complete opposite of what we have been conditioned to believe about our children..

They believe children are pure, and fully good... not evil.
They train up their children with this mindset.

I think one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to believe them. see them. and to call out their hearts and innocence.
Was my littlest lying... I don't know. maybe.
But lying has it's own consequences... it has a very loud way of teaching us. As does their good hearts and pure spirits.
I think the greatest moment was me looking into her eyes, and saying..
"Yes, my love... I believe you. I believe you."

5 comments:

  1. I guess that is where my experience was really good... And my children benefit from that... I realized thru this post that I need to thank my parents for balking the system that way... It must have been tough in their circles but they made it so much easier for me. It was my school that was the culprit! Never believing.
    Yours good mom and as they say realization is half the equation. Most parents never question themselves or practices. Your children are blessed.
    Great post.
    I hope in other areas life is good? Is it a better place for you to be? Has the move helped?
    All my love:)
    K

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  2. I meant your a good mom;) you teach me too in that regard;)
    P.s. I've also been interested in hearing your thoughts about body issues that you said you may bring up in the new year... I think I could benefit from your wisdom

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    1. OH K... you have given me some really great things to write about! Thankyou for that.. I have had so much going on while being in Colorado, and have had a sudden change of events happen, that have literally knocked the wind out of me. I will take some time to write today. Thankyou for caring... and thankyou for your love.

      xo

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