Exhaustion no matter how much sleep I would get the night before.
Today was the peak of it all tho. I am home. Christmas has passed. My kids are home.
After working my ass off for months now... being stretched and growing in said work and balancing family life with that... Emotional from being away from my family for the first time ever this Christmas.
I got a call for a photo shoot. tomorrow. on my day off.
What do I do?
What should I do?
I am exhausted. cranky. and overwhelmed now at the thought of the photo shoot.
Plus it's an hour and half away, I will have to bring my 3 kids with me to the photo shoot (total stress right there) aaaaand it's supposed to snow some more tomorrow.
We need the money.
I hate these moments.
So I ask myself what do I want to do?
What do you need, Amy?
What do I do?
other then obligation to jump on the opportunity for provision for my family.
I get an email this morning...with a suggestion.
and seriously I can't think of better timing than today for this.
"Take a pencil in your dominant hand (right for right- handers, left for lefties) and write down a few pointed questions, such as
“What are you feeling?”
“What do you need?” and
“What do you want?”
As soon as you’ve finished writing a question, switch the pencil to your other hand and write whatever words bubble up. You may be surprised. When your problem-solving mind is fully engaged, trying to master the task of writing with the “wrong” hand, hidden aspects of the self often surface."
I am fascinated by the exercise... I mean it did catch my eye, but I don't do it... I do take a bath and tell my kids I will be awhile. I took my ipod and did a couple of guided meditations.
That was nice. It brought peace and I had a pretty cool experience with God.
But after going on with my day the irritation is still right there... on my chest. ugh.
So I take my journal and pen and go upstairs to my bedroom...
I ask myself 3 questions.... with my right hand.
And move the pen to my left hand, and just write what comes.
I got my answers in under 5 minutes.
What's bothering you?
What do you need?
What do you want?
You can tell which was my dominate hand and which one isn't. My brain was actually frustrated byt this exercise, but my heart is at peace right now.
I am staying home...snuggling my kids by the fire and just giving myself the gift of being, sleeping and slowing down.
Have you tried this before?