Have to tell you how my very first meditation time went this morning... I have been so freaking scared of meditation... full of fear of the spirits I would let inside my bubble of protection...
You remember that teaching? The one about opening up your spirit to evil and deceptive spirits if you entertain or participate in any eastern philosophy activity..i.e. meditation, etc.. even tho the Bible talks about meditating... but oh no, it's not the same kind of meditation.
Is there any other kind of meditation??
I mean, really?
Yeah.. that lil' fear has been very present...so I would take time to "be quiet", making sure to never call it meditation...just "being quiet" time.. lol!
But with looking on this next season, longing for more freedom, depth and clarity.. I knew I had to make a purposeful time and life for quiet.
For me, stepping away from Facebook was definitely in that equation.
To choose not to be allow it to distract me from what I know I need to step into... the quiet I have been deeply longing for, but so scared of at the same time.
I have been reading a book that I so recommend.. it's beautifully written and so practical.
It's a book by author Michael A. Singer called Untethered Soul.
Seriously highly recommend! It was SO incredibly insightful! My sis sent it to me, and I have so enjoyed the "ah ha" moments while reading it.
It has helped me understand more about fear and the functioning of the psyche.
Realizing that my Self and my Spirit have not been in the drivers seat of this life, but my lil' ego/psyche. It's trying it's hardest to do a job it was never meant to do... like manage, care and keep me safe.
That is utterly impossible... realizing I have been asking my psyche to do something that would be the equivalent of super natural, really isn't fair.
Really my Soul/Self and my Spirit are supposed to be in the drivers seat, and the psyche/ego is simply meant to be a tool, or an aide so to speak in this life journey.
Michael, of course, explains this so much better then I can. Again, highly recommend his writings in Untethered Soul. So so so good!
So, last week I received a email, and this 21 Day Meditation Challenge from Deepak Chopra.
And I thought... perfect timing.
The longing inside to experience God outside of religion, and setting aside a purposeful time to just be and receive sounded Divinely sent.
Today was Day 1.
I had the idea of posting every day of my 21 Day Meditation Challenge, but honestly, it wouldn't happen. lol!
Just too much going on, but I will share as I can!
Thoughts from my time this morning...
I chose to use a guided meditation... one that I found by Deepak being as this is a challenge I am accepting from him.
If you are interested, it can be found here.
It's about 14 minutes long.
I began my meditation.. and as you breathe you are supposed to think the word "So" on your in-breath and "Hum" on your out-breath.
Not say it, just think it.
My head was HILarious... it was all over the place, but it was really nice to know that all is as it should be, and I found it really centering to come back to So Hum.
As the time went by and there was just me and my little So Hum's... I could feel myself hoping that Deepak's voice would come back. I think I checked the time around 6 minutes, and closed my eyes again.
Focused back on my So Hum's... and then this wave of emotion came over me.
Tears came flooding to my eyes, and I found my breathing was hard to keep paced, so I let the tears fall and let my breathing change with the emotion.
Then the emotion left.
And I don't know how long it was between my first wave of tears and this next one, but again tears and emotion came rushing to my eyes... I just let the tears fall.
They came... and then they came some more.
Then all of sudden this big wave of gratitude came.. I could feel God with me and me so grateful He was there.
So precious and so near.
I just enjoyed that space.
Then all of a sudden the tears that had fallen, had fallen down my cheeks, then they reached my neck and started to tickle my neck, and I could NOT stand them sitting there anymore, so I brushed them away.. lol.
And then the time was done.
I loved it so much... I have been so giddy. Just full of joy. (not that that isn't a big woo woo thing with me..) But the joy is deep..and I keep sighing.
I couldn't tell you why tears came, I just let them, and didn't judge them or ask questions.
I know when I come near to things that are Divine, it's my bodies one big response..tears.
Can't wait for tomorrow!
Did you take the 21 Day Challenge? If not, do you meditate? I would love to hear about your first time!
BIG hug.. and peace to you my friends..