Friday, August 3, 2012

Hi loves...

Hi my friends..

I know I have been MIA... I don't know what to do with this space anymore.
I actually took it off for awhile, and had people asking where different posts where, so they could share with friends.

I don't know what to do.

I need to update you all.. not a whole 'lot has changed, but forward motion is coming little by little.
This journey has been one of the most intense of my life, and I find myself pressing my ear closer and closer to hear God.
To hear clear. To stay sane. To be me in this journey. To know me in this journey. To not compare.
It's interesting when life get's bumpy, and you find yourself flying around with life's shifts and sways, and flips and flops.. what that squeezes out of you.
I am finding my eyes need to fix to what God has breathed in my heart.
I am also finding that all exterior voices need to shut up, and I have got to listen to the whispers of God in my own heart.
I have been wordless when it comes to the now process of life.
Ask me anything else, just don't ask me how I am right now..today.. because I don't know what to say.
I just want to be here in the today.
Love my family and keep my head above water. Hoping and waiting on this season to move forward.

People have gotten offended.
People have accused me of all kinds of different things.
It's weird. to me. I mean, why do we feel abandoned when someone takes a step back from virtual world to step towards real world?
Why do we jump to conclusions?
It hurts, but I also know that they must miss me...and love me to even feel anything like that.
It's not personal tho.
It's just me. here. inside this really intense season.
I find I don't even have the space inside to respond to that.
I just need to be understood and loved here.

Today is a deep dip day.
I started feeling the shift inside yesterday.
I know it's a full moon, and I am finding I respond greatly to that.
The more connected I am to my heart, the more I am connected to earth, moon, sky.

Anywho, I just wanted to share... don't worry about me tho.
I have taken myself off of all my mailing lists, blogs I had followed, etc... just for a time.
I need the quiet in my head.
It feels like I walk into a room full of beautiful friends, talking all at the same time... and right now I can't seem to sift through it all.

So I am here.
Always love emails tho.
Miss you and will be back to your blogs and heart spaces when this time/season I am in is come to a new space.
I think.

I will write when words come and flow.
Loves to you.
xo



11 comments:

  1. You are in a normal season:) I am not insulted...or expect more..simply cared and missed you as a friend that cares...and this is our main medium of communication. I have had a really tough go at it lately too in varied ways...You are loved and you can be whatever you need to be...people will still miss you though and deal with it the way they too need to deal with it. I'm sorry that hurts tho. Just like you feel hurt when misunderstood- they feel hurt because they may feel misunderstood...ah the cycle of people!:) I too often need to step back from people.
    I can't say anything very comforting other than that I am there, have had VERY tough years too and understand what you mean,
    Love to you:)

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  2. Ps
    James Morrison and Jason mrazs new album help heal my soul. I wish I could make you a cd... Actually I can!!!!! I can't remember your email ( mine has changed but the old one is forwarded on) if you send me your address I'd love to send some love in the mail( our old emails were all erased)
    Love
    K

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    1. K! I will check them out right now.. I have a program called Spotify and it's free to listen to music. I will find them! Thankyou my sweet friend.. your words mean so much to me.. so much.
      I love you! We need to talk as soon as I get a landline!
      xoxo

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  3. funny. me too. i felt inundated by so much that i pulled back too. i wish you peace of mind and heart today and much love xoxoox

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    1. Glynis.. have you really???
      Thinking of you, my friend.. your thoughts mean so much.
      xo

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  4. i understand you, Amy. i backed off for a while too. from writing, and even from commenting a lot. sometimes you do need to step away from things for a while, and that's totally okay. yes, it is upsetting when people get offended and stuff, but it really *does* mean that they miss you. it's frustrating, though. i have missed you here, but i'm glad that i get to see you often on facebook and talk through text. :) you're such a special person to me, and i'll always be around to read whenever you have words to share.

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    1. I love you, my friend.. thankyou for being you!

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  5. I so completely understand this. More, I applaud your ability to actually put feet to your decision. I so enjoy you my friend and my journey has been so greatly enriched by your own.

    Love you little sister. (BTW...have been working my way through "Leaving the Fold" by Winell that you recommended. I is like reading my journal from the past couple years. INCREDIBLE.)

    Thank you for being you. XOXOXO

    Patti

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  6. always loving you sister
    no matter where you are!
    ♥♥♥

    love and light

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