Such a teeny, tiny line that goes between them.
It's so faint, that one can jump from faith to worry in just a matter of a thought.
This is something that I am starting to see more clearly as my hub and I walk in a season of "unknowns".
The choice to walk in faith.
The choice to walk in worry.
Something that I am seeing clearer and clearer is how fast it can happen.
It literally happens in one thought.
A couple nights ago, I was tucking in my sweet Josiah.
He is SUCH a thinker.
Very quick to worry and get stuck in it.
He was upset about something that was really important to his tender, 10 year old heart.
He was stuck in the cycle of worry and could not get out of it.
We talked about worry, and what are some of the things he can do to solve or maybe help his concern.
He looks at me and asks... " Mom, what is worry?"
He is SO visual, like his momma, so word pictures speak so clearly to him :)
This is what came flying out of my mouth.
"Bud, worry is when your brain tells you scary stories about life that are not true...and that is all they are. Just scary stories."
And as fast as I said it, peace came over his heart, and he was ready for sleep.
And I walked away blinking in profound awe that I just spoke something so profound.. ha ha ha!
Because honestly, I didn't know this myself.
Isn't that amazing when the answers to our own questions bubble up out of NO were, and come flying out of our own mouth??
I think what it did for him and I was de-mystify something that we feel so out of control about.
Worry = is when I believe the scary stories that my mind is telling me.
That's all it is.
And the choice is... do I believe the stories or not?
And when I choose to not believe the stories that worry is telling me, what do I believe then?
I recently read the most simple and gorgeous definition to faith.
Faith is believing what my eyes cannot see, but what my heart knows to be true.
As I walk through my days, I think on these words a lot.
I think it's because they bring my heart so much hope.
Because truth is I do know what my heart sees.
God has whispered and birthed His stories and truth inside my heart.
They are stories of hope.. they are desires and dreams that bubble up in me, and I am so filled with joy. peace. life.
Faith carries these stories of truth, of desire, of dreams, of hope.
And when I step into these stories of truth and hope, I am filled with contentment, peace, and a full on joy for all life has for the moment.
This is what is bubbling up in my heart today.
The more I live from my heart, the more I feel like a spectator to the workings of my mind.
It's such a wild experience, I don't think I can explain it any better then that.
One day in particular, I was deep into the grasp of worry..
Fear had gripped me.. I was deep in the pit of all the what if's of our future, and all that I might not get to in time..
It painted a story full of despair and terror.
Then I heard a voice... it shot clear through my fears and worrying.
"You know.. you don't have to stay here.
Just step over here."
And literally, I could see it... more so I could FEEL it.
And like turning a channel or taking a step from one side to the other, there I was.
Wrapped in a story that was completely opposite of what I was worrying about.
I stepped into hope.
It was one of those God experiences, where He enabled me to see it, touch it, feel it,
and just like that...
I stepped out of the hell of worry that I was in, and right into hope...into faith.
Worry still comes, and fear still come to grip my heart.
I honestly have to be very vigilant over my heart because I sense worry so close to me at times.
But it doesn't overtake me anymore.
I cry. I feel. I talk to Papa about it. I listen to music that centers me and reminds me of truth. I journal. I talk it out with my hub or a dear friend. I ask to be reminded of the truth.
I ask for God's help to get me back into faith.... and it comes.
It always comes.