Thankyou thankyou to everybody that took the time to share their journey and some of their own resources that have helped them along the way.
For anybody that happens upon this blog in search for help with any trauma from religion, I want to post the comments and the links and resources that were shared
~ Quivering Daughters by Hillary McFarland
I have not read this book personally but many people have been encouraged and the healing process has begun through the words of this book.
Hillary also has a website as well... this post on Spiritual Abuse was jaw dropping.
~ Kathy Escobar has a blog and wrote a whole series on deconstruction. Here is a link to the articles: http://kathyescobar.com/2012/05/04/rebuilding-is-possible-a-little-hope-for-deconstruction/
~ Journey Free by Marlene Winell.
Marlene has some great information on taking steps to recovering/healing.. Steps to Recovery.
I had some really amazing emails from precious people walking out this very journey.
Many have asked what I have been doing to walk this out, and I wanted to share some of my baby steps to freedom.
Honestly, it's not very amazing or earth shattering.. lol.
I am soooo not an expert, but I will share from my own life and experience.
First and foremost you need to know that if you are walking through any kind of religious abuse and trauma, try to get in to see a counselor.
It is something that I have done myself in my own journey, and I highly recommend it!
I am not seeing a counselor now, tho I am looking for one.
It feels so good to talk with someone who is outside your situation and can be a friend.
I cannot recommend it enough!
~ When I started this journey 4 years ago, I really needed a lot of information. It was this hunger for truth, and different ways of seeing God and religion.
So I read books and blogs. I listened to podcasts. I needed input and information so badly.. it was like I couldn't devour it quick enough... like a starving person.
I followed my heart, now that I look back... and this is what I needed at the time.
~ As time has gone on, I found I couldn't sit in church anymore. It became so hard to listen to the confusing message being dished out and fed to the people...myself included.
So I stopped going.
My hubby wasn't ready to leave the church yet, so I would try going back with him...and end up not being able to go again.
This cycle has happened so many times.. it's funny now that I look back.
But as of recently, I decided to stop putting myself in that environment.
Because for me, it is toxic.
And it re-opens wounds that God is healing.
I have given myself permission to not attend church with my husband. It goes against every " good wifey" act of selflessness in me.
But it truly is NOT being kind to myself, it is inhibiting to the healing process that I have been in, so I am not. going. any. more.
~ I allow myself to feel.
Feeling was not something I was allowed to do growing up or as an adult. Tho I know this was a "family" thing, I feel it also is engrained in religious culture.
To feel is to be carnal.. is to be sinful..is to be NOT ok with God.
So I didn't feel. I shoved it all down. And put on a smile.
Weeell, depression and angst and addiction later, I have decided to stop stuffing my emotions and feelings and let myself FEEL :)
It's good. It's right. It's what we are meant to do with emotions.
~ I journal.
Emotions come up, I write them out.
Author Paula Rinehart says, "Pen to paper.. Spirit to soul." Meaning there is no greater way to connect to your heart then to write it out. She really believes there is a great connection from pen to heart. I so agree.
So many times I will be writing out my feelings, and woosh.. in comes these beautiful, healing thoughts of love from God. No joke. He will encourage me and speak to truth to me, and there I have it right on my little piece of paper.
~ I purposefully surround myself with people on the same journey... friends who are seekers and lovers of Truth.
There will always be people in your life that you can't help being around.. like family per se.
But even family needs to have it's boundaries. I have stepped way back from alot of my family.
This time is a tender and precious time, and if being around alot of family causes you to take two steps back in your healing, then I say don't do it.
You are loyal to God and to yourself first and foremost, then to your spouse and children.
All others you are not.
Being loyal for loyalties sake at the expense of your own heart is utterly toxic. You might as well be being served poison by that person, and out of loyalty drinking it.
I do continue to read books and blogs... and listen to podcasts here and there.
But it is under one condition.
"Does this bring my heart life or death?"
That is all I have to share right now... after you have read this, please take a moment to read the comments on these posts.. they are so rich in wisdom and love. Truly priceless!
I am so incredibly blessed and grateful for you and all you take the time to share.
Please continue to encourage each other and share what you do or have done to heal.
Resources? Books? Steps?