Friday, April 27, 2012

O. my. gosh.

We did it!

We packed up our home in Arizona, and have moved!

We are here in Colorado, and LOVING it!

We drove into Colorado Springs on Monday evening.. stayed with friends, then unloaded our big truck into a storage unit on Tuesday, then Wednesday we had some appointments, then Wednesday night drove into Lafayette...which is where we are right now!

It's so interesting some of the clarity that comes with actually BEING here..not on vacation, but permanently.  We had initially been so drawn to Colorado Springs area, but now that we are here, we are feeling more drawn to Lafayette. So interesting how the unfolding happens.
We realized this right off the bat. The first day we drove around Colorado Springs...both my hub and I thought the same thing.. ' this area is not matching what is in our hearts.'

Soooo, we are brainstorming a bit, and I made a mad bunch of calls yesterday to schools for the kids. My hub is looking for work now in different areas....which really is a greater radius choosing to live in Lafayette versus the Springs. 
My desire is for us to think outside the box. To see the world as being full of so much potential, and to not step into fear. I don't think creativity flows in fear, but in trust.
Fear totally messes the whole process up. We truly were never meant to live in fear..ever.
I can hear it's whispers tho... that tug to worry and fret.... the thoughts of "what if" creeping in.
I refuse them tho. I canNOT live in that space. Like ever!
I remind myself of this whole journey here... how purposeful I felt everything was laid out... and the unfolding I felt so sure of before we left.

A friend said something this morning that I thought was so true..

"The greatest battle is not physical but psychological. 
The demons telling us to give up when we push ourselves to the limit can never be silenced for good. They must always be answered by the quiet the steady dignity that simply refuses to give in."

The quiet..the steady dignity that simply refuses to give in to those whispers and tugs to worry...yes.

I want to live in that space of trust. of rest. of peace.
Of refusing the whispers and the tugs.
Honestly, I can't hear God in those fear spaces... all I can hear is MY little ego/brain trying to fix stuff while it freaks out... and those ego fixes never pan out very well.

Sooooo.. here we are, lovies! 

Thankyou for checking in on me and sending notes of love and encouragement! 

I adore you, my friends so much!

  More to come....

Love you so much..



Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Fear of suffering....

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.
And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.

~The Alchemist

The FEAR of suffering is definitely worse than the suffering itself.
Anything that is good and worth while is guaranteed to have some suffering and discomfort attached... and the quicker we realize this, the quicker we will be to step towards it.
Because the treasure gained is is truly where LIFE is created in us.

"Because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

source = me

I read this quote this morning, and it shot right to my heart.

Every dream worth stepping towards IS going to have suffering attached.
In one way, shape or form... it truly is a guarantee. It WILL be there.
Discomfort really.

Every dream is worth that discomfort tho.
And all that fear is, is my brain telling scary stories about the impending discomfort attached to the dream.

So the question before me...and you is...

Do I stay put, and look at my dream from a distance and believe the scary stories about what might, or will happen if I step towards the dream?


Do I know there is greater treasure and life to be had by stepping through the fear of the suffering and discomfort, and take the step anyways, knowing it is but an illusion, and greater treasures lie on the other side?

Today.. I choose option number 2.

signed your friend who is surrounded by moving boxes, and stepping towards her dream this Sunday with discomfort and all.... ready or not, here I come.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Little bit of a life update :)

Morning, lovlies :)

We have had some interesting changes to our journey as of late...

It's always so interesting to me when we make our plans, but God directs the steps that we take.

As you know, we are moving to Colorado soon... our hope was that our kids would get to finish up the school year, and we would make the jump May 31st.

WE have been working to buy more time in our home, so as to stay. It is due to foreclose on April 19th.
Just 5 weeks before our initial move date.
So close!
That is a whole 'nother story...we have been in our home for 3 going on 4 years morgage free because we filed bankruptcy after my husband lost his job way back.
His drop in pay was so significant, that we could keep up with the bills any longer.

 We had been looking to see if we could stay with friends or family after the house foreclosed, for that 5 weeks inbetween time, so the kids could finish school. There just hasn't been anybody.
A friend suggested talking with a realtor and seeing if we could short-sale our home, stopping the foreclosure process, so in turn we could stay in our home until our move date.

So we did. We started the whole short-sale process, got a offer on the house, and are now waiting to see if the bank will put the brakes on the foreclosure.

But that isn't the interesting part.

The interesting part is this.

Last week, my hub's boss approached him and told him regretfully they were going to have to cut my hubby's job.
There were some changes that went into affect, and his boss was holding off as long as he could, so that he could keep my hub on until we moved.. but his boss said that he couldn't hold off any longer, and had to let my hubby go.
So he gave him 3 more weeks of work.
And get this... his last day of work is the same week our home is foreclosing... April 19th.

There is a scripture that comes to mind... " I will make my plans, but You direct my steps."

I have never in all my days seen such a blatant direction change from God then this one.
Very clear.
No doubts.
Just a continued re-direction of when we needed to leave.
April 19th.

We tried all the doors.
knocked on this one.
knocked on that one.
jiggled this knob.
jiggled that one.

So, that is a bit of what is going on.... excited and scared and unsure and holding on for dear life is the range of emotions going on.

Kmarie and I talked last week, as I shared what was going on before we knew Bobby (my hub) was going to lose his job. I told her, it feels like the same emotions I felt when I was getting married.

Just lots of up and down emotions.

Getting ready for take off....yeeks and smiles all wrapped up into one :)

 Source : Me :)