Thursday, February 2, 2012

A bit of pissed randomness.. arg.

I can't wait for the day where I can live life without fear.
Fear of doing everything wrong.
Fear of being deceived or going to hell.
Fear of displeasing God.

I can't wait for the day when the revelation of this life is mine...where I OWN IT..  I get to SAVOR it.
I get to EMBRACE it.
To just fucking BE ok in this life without all the damn accusing questions and critical accusations that flood my mind everyday.


I so long to just be present and love God and those around me.
Just the simplicity of THAT!!!
To know what I like and don't like without second guessing it.
To feel comfortable in my skin.
To embrace and adore the life I have been given without being scared at least 1000 times a day!

...

yeah.

That' be real nice.

One day.

One day.

xo Amy

8 comments:

  1. One day:) Not too very far away I think. Most days I have what you want yet I am still often restless and struggling:) But my journey did bring me to 80% of the time feeling comfortable and simply loving. My favourite book is Wisdom Distilled from the Daily By Joan Chittister. In the daily grind sometimes beauty speaks. I have faith you will be in that place 80% of the time too. I recognize the signs. You are on your way love:)

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  2. i hear you. oh how i hear you.
    you're speaking your truth. freedom follows. hang in there. xoxo

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    1. Rain, I SO know you get it too.. thankyou for your courage and always sharing your journey.
      loves.. xo

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  3. Oops. I just realized what your title was...Somehow I did not read in to this post that you were mad. Go figure. My last comment probably did not help that. I thought you were wishing for some quiet contented days of faith and you sound so comfy in your own skin that I said those days may come soon:) I think they will...but I missed the whole pissed part. All I can say to that is - that sucks. I am sorry some one angered you. I get that here a lot- especially in christian circles. I hate that everyone lives in fear here too- especially of hell- so frustrating. I think I misread this. Now I'm confused...ha ha..but it made me think a lot in many different ways:) Thanks for the inspiring challenge!:)

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    1. K! You are so freaking adorable.. and I love you!

      Yeah.. just pissed at not just one person in particuliar, just all the programming that I have inside my head that constantly wages war with my heart. I am so over it! It's very tiring and it makes me so sad.
      This is the "making peace with myself" part that I really really want to come..and come quickly! Thankyou for your love.. I can feel it every time you place your hands to that computer keyboard.
      loves to you.. Amy

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  4. yes sister yes!
    I hear you

    love and light

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    1. Mmmm hmmmmm! So know you do, gf!

      loves... Amy

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  5. I know, right? I feel you. Big time. Sometimes fear squeezes my heart so much that I feel constricted and can hardly breathe. Fear sucks. It sucks big time. But I've gotta believe that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. He doesn't want us to be filled with fear. And Aimes, He knows your heart. Trust in that, and screw all those other people who try to make you live in fear--against His will. Much love to you. <3

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