Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Have been reading some different posts from friends today... scriptures on the topic of love.

Alot of "Jesus says" scriptures...

So while we are on the topic of "love and loving others" another scripture that comes to mind is,

" Love your neighbor as yourself."

Now if you would, just stay with me here... how in the heck am I supposed to love anybody, if I don't love myself?

How am I supposed to know how to love if I hate myself?

How am I supposed to love when all I know of myself is loathing, self hatred, and cynicism?

Or even more, how am I supposed to love if I have no idea what that word means?

What if my definition of love is to make you love me and find value in me because I don't love myself?

Is that love?

Or what if all I know is a demented and twisted form of love that was shown to me growing up?

Is that love?

We have to be so careful of what we put on people because what makes total sense to you, will become big time bondage to another person.

I have heard those words from the pulpit so many time...

" Just love. Just love, you selfish people. Just get over yourselves and LOVE!!!"

But there is a question screaming from every person's heart, " But how?"

"How do I love? I want to love, but how?"

They don't KNOW how..

And you can't fake it, and you can't force it.

You fake or force love on someone and they will smell it from a mile away. That isn't love. That's some weird distorted version of love.

You know it in your heart of hearts when someone has mouthed the words, " I love you." and they don't mean it.

You just know it's not true.

Love has to be SHOWN.

Love has to be experienced FIRST before it can be given.

And once experienced over and over again, until it's deep in you, and you are completely convinced that you are indeed loved, THEN and only then can you show it.

Because when you are convinced that you are indeed LOVED and LOVABLE, then you can start loving yourself because Love has shown you that you are indeed so valuable, and so worthy of belonging and of connection to God and others.

And quite honestly, most people have no clue what that word means. No clue.

Learning what love is, is a life process... for most people it doesn't come over night.

It really comes in a personal "ah ha" moment revelation of God meeting YOU, in your day to day, and Him showing you He loves you, in this day, and in your life, right where you are.

No performance. No stirring it up. Just you and God.

My own life example is,that after years and years of sin management and making my self good enough to please God, I reached my wits end. I had dug myself into a whole so deep I couldn't crawl out of it. And this God of Love, He met me in that place. He actually met me in my deepest pit of despair.

There I was, lying in my own filth and addictions and hopelessness, He was with me.

He spoke directly to my heart with the kindest tone I had ever heard and said,

" I love you, Amy. Yeah, I know about all the sin, all the coping, all the survival skills.. I know about it all... I can handle that. I love you, Amy... not what you do, or what great talent you have.. I could care less about all of that stuff when it comes to your heart. I love you. I am not going anywere...we are going to start climbing out of this place."

And for me, that was the beginning journey to learning what REAL love is, And God de-programing my mind and heart of the false definitions I called love, and He has put in HIS definition of love.

And this God of love that I am learning of, and catching glimpses of, is NOTHING like that God of my religion.


This is what I have learned about God's love.

Love has no agenda.

Love doesn't TAKE from you, it asks.

Love is truth to every single lie you have believed about yourself and your worth.

Love creates freedom.

Love is grace.

Love sees the YOU that you were destined to be, and it calls that out of you constantly.

Love believes in you.

Love trusts you.

Love isn't selfish.

Love isn't insecure.

Love lays down it's life for another even when we would say the other doesn't deserve it...

Love sees the authentic you.

Love celebrates every baby step you make.

Love is Life and it creates LIFE in those dead areas in me.

Love is kind and gentle, not harsh and mean.

Love waits and love is patient.

THAT is my God. That is my truth.

So when Jesus said, " Love your neighbor as yourself."

When Jesus said, " This is the command I leave you, love one another as I have loved you."

This is the love I am learning of... this is love I can let overflow onto my fellow man.. this is love that my God models and is the example of everyday of my life... He shows me by His example, so that I can know what it looks like, tastes like and feels like in the deepest parts of me.

"Love one another as I HAVE LOVED YOU."


  1. Awesome!

    I just seen a quote from a friend on Facebook today that I was reminded of while reading this post.

    "Our outflow is determined by our inflow."

    As we accept God's love we are able to allow it out to others.

  2. perfect

    I too had the same experience with The Creator...meeting me in that dark place..a couple times actually : )
    amazing amazing Love like no other!

    I love you Amy
    your heart shine through all your doubts...I see you
    keep writing your heart

    love and light

  3. hurray for hitting the nail on the head! this is good stuff, Amy. thank you for sharing. everything you said is so right on...and it's stuff that i know and yet it's stuff that i'm learning every day...and every day i'm realizing that i don't really know. it's complicated. :P that whole head/heard/actions relationship of knowledge. i need to make it not just head/intellectual knowledge, and instead knowledge that comes from the heart, that becomes a deep believing...and that believing moves me to action. i want/need to have a deep knowing of God's love.

    because the Love of God IS so awesome. i want to be more and more moved by it. i want it to shape every part of my life...my interactions with others, my views of myself...everything. but it's so hard. i am very very thankful for a Love that celebrates baby steps. because that's all i'm managing right now.