Friday, June 3, 2011

Because I like me.


I was at Trader Joes last night, putting my grocery bags in the back of my car.
I shut the door and then looked at my little TJ grocery cart....
It's amazing how fast a thought process can happen, isn't it?

The thought zoomed through my head, "Do I take this cart back to the cart bin area, or just squeeze and wedge it up here in the parking lot??"

Now back in my before freedom days, I would have tootled it over to the cart area because Jesus was watching and I wanted to do the right thing. I wanted Him to see what I was doing and be pleased.

So so silly, but true.

But now, as of lately I hadn't been doing that! Ha! I had been leaving my cart just here and there...sometimes if I felt like it, I would bring it back to it's little cart area home.

Something has been working it's way around in me...a little truth that's just been bouncing around inside.... it's this.

I am the one that has to live with my day to day choices.... when I lay down at night, when my head hits my pillow, it's ME who has to like the person I am at the end of the day.

Do I like the person I am inside when I lay in my bed at night...alone with my thoughts....Me. There isn't anybody else there with me..it's just me.

This little nugget of truth....this little question has a boat load of grace and love attached to it.
I really want it just pinned up in my brain.... a little note inside my head... " Do I like me when I do this or that?"

When I interact with my kids.... in my choices.... with my husband....in my tone of voice and the words I speak... in how I treat my fellow man.... in my attitudes and thoughts towards life...

To answer the question... I like the person I am, when I choose kindness and goodness.
I like me, and I like how I feel when I am stepping towards freedom, and light
I like me when I am choosing to not compare myself and my journey to others.
I like me when I can see that I choose those things in my life that are the true gifts and treasures of my heart.....my honey, my family over the piddly distractions of my life that bid me to look their way.

It's just a simple little question that has been mulling around in me...
Do I like who I am at the end of the day?

Going back to my little Trader Joes cart.... I could hear that question come up... and the answer was... "Yep, I like who I am when I take this silly little cart back to it's cart area."

And so I did.

:)

Life to you today....

<3 Amy

3 comments:

  1. Oh how I can relate to this! And what victory...to like yourself! To push past the old voices, the shoulds and obligations. I love what David said: I will be satisfied when I see myself in righteousness, when I awake in Your likeness. I think that the more we allow ourselves to be refined, the more brightly He polishes us. And my dear, you are shining bright. <3

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  2. I heard a sermon once that still I find to really be true..it was worded more towards peace.. If we were to truly follow peace, we would be living our best life. That thought came up when I was writing this morning... follow peace, or walk in such a way that I like the person I am or am becoming.

    Love what you shared about David.. so good!

    <3's

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  3. awake in YOUR likeness....love those words...David had some good stuff to share and yet he also screwed up...royally. This tells me that though he may have messed up, his messes does not negate the truths of his life...wow totally hearing that right this moment.

    And I hear you too friend
    what is our motivation???
    Why do we do what we do?
    Do we live in fear of the darkness, are we looking for approval?
    When the sacrifice has already been made, the gift given, unconditional love poured down, why do we trap ourselves into the brownie point game?
    My own experience gives me the answer of first being taught that as a child, then the insecurities of not being good enough fuel the fire, and mostly just no understanding what I mean to my creator and what my creator wants to be for me.
    Your last post has stuck with me as well these past 24 hours...I am going to email you but I also wanted to put this thought out there for anyone else who might be reading and not sure about all of this....
    The things you said about The Bible yesterday...totally get and have so so been there. for me the story didn't end there...like you full circle with "why do I put the grocery cart back" I too had one as far as The Bibles truth...I remember the first time I voiced my thoughts, as you did yesterday, to a group of church going women. I know I shocked a few....one in particular quite alot, she was not happy with me AT ALL!!!! But looking back I was just being honest, letting it out there of what was REALLY on my heart and it was when I gave those doubts voice a shift could start to happen...when we bring things out of our thoughts we bring them into the light, this is one of my core beliefs...that is why it is so important to share and communicate...anyways once that was out a journey began and over time I knew that The Bible holds truth, God given truths that no man can shake...I learnt that what ever flaws there are surrounding this "Life Guide", as I see it, is due to man...so I learnt to desern the man...not The Book. I choose not to get into verse battles...so pointless...and I quietly, unless someone asks, know God's golden thread of truth that weaves its way through out this Book and other great books....sometimes it is just a shift of perspective...
    hope that makes sense

    Again friend
    I always love your openness and bravery
    we need to talk about these things, get real with our hearts
    isn't that what we want for our own children/loved ones
    Isn't even more so for God
    I am grateful that God knows your heart Amy...through and through...and that there is love and acceptance for you because of YOU and God doesn't stop loving us even if we cdon't put the cart back in the proper spot!
    And I am even more grateful that you know your heart and love you through and through...for the greatest give we can give one another is our true happiness
    okay very long comment
    love and light to you today!

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