Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A bit p.o.'d

Lately it's interesting to find myself a bit angry about religion again, and the lies that I swallowed and lived under for so long.

I am not not not wanting to bash anybodies church, pastor or leadership here.
I am talking about religion.
I am talking about the modern day religion of western civilization's Christianity here.

If you are a friend on facebook, one of those areas I had asked about lately is the whole area of "calling".

Another area that has come up in me is the whole, "finding the perfect will of God" area.

O my gosh! How deep does this stuff go in me? Heesh!

I have lived a life of fear believing these teachings.
I have lived a life of not stepping towards anything, believing these teachings.
It has stripped me of my hearing and knowing my own heart and the simplicity of how God leads me through my heart for years.
Of LIVING my life.... just living it, enjoying it in the freedom He has given to me to enjoy it out of fear that I am doing it wrong.

Realizing this after my hubby and I have had some intense conversations about some big decisions that we have coming up...this whole are roared it's ugly head.
"What does God want us to do?"
Both of us look at each other blankly and completely clueless.

The following day I heard God whisper to my heart,
" What kind of Father do you know Me to be? One who sits back and watches my children grovel and cry out in angst and confusion? With hundreds of directions that they could step toward? What kind of Father doesn't speak up and bring direction? What kind of Father doesn't trust His kids? Trust the wisdom that I have placed inside them? The heart that carries life and direction? "

My answer, " It makes you a cruel and heartless Father."

His answer, " Yep. What kind of Father do you know me to be, Amy? Cruel? Heartless?"

Me... " No, Papa.. You are love. All I know of you is kindness and compassion towards me when I feel deaf and blind. You are my Papa who holds my hand, and has shouted through my heart, my desires of what way to go...and You trust me. You have shown me that you trust me..."

Abba answered, "I don't hide from you. I won't. I want you to always know the way. I have given you LIFE...it's a gift, Amy! A gift! So LIVE it... grab a hold of it.... ENJOY it... don't fear it but, step towards it, embrace it! It's FOR you! LIVE! I have given you a good brain to think, and make decisions... just use it and LIVE. I am with you always. LIVE!!!!"

He might as well have been shouting it to me, I could hear it so loud.... LIVE!

How long have I chosen to not do anything for fear of doing it wrong?
How long?
My gosh!
Why oh why would we ever teach people to not follow the simple ways that God leads us through our heart, desires and hopes??

It's a simple way of living, and religion has massacred it, and chained people up...bound them with fear of "doing it wrong".
It's so simple.

LIVE, He says... and LIVE is what I am gonna do.


  1. LIVE.......
    such an invitation; why oh why do we ever consider it a curse? i know i have before and now i seek to make up time as the life-maker restores the years...

    i find solace in the ezekiel 16 passage ~ 6 “And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’

    and with finding God's will for our lives...beyond love...i've discovered that the secret often lies in finding out what we want most to do in life. what moves you? what burning desire waits expectantly in your heart? 'delight yourself also in the lord' says the psalmist, 'and he will give you the desires of your heart.'

    what do you desire, dear one?

  2. oh friend
    I some how missed this post!
    But I went searching for you because I was missing your prophetic words and here they are!
    This is why I love you Amy, because you speak the truth.
    God wants us to live, embrace, breathe in ALL that is before us....it is so amazing. No strings attached, no check list to follow.
    Two things
    Love God
    Love others AS YOU LOVE YOURSELVES!!
    I will tell you what friend. Loving myself was nothing I was ever taught to do in church or the Christian school I grew up in, and man had I known about self love I could have avoided so many painful choices.
    The church is lost...
    Yesterday I was out for a spiritual coffee with some dear friends and one of them shared this wisdom.
    The church has become like a carpenter who has to make 200 of the same size beams. He starts with one then measures out another using the first one, then measures out another. but instead of using the first one to measure our the third beam he uses the second beam and to measure out the fourth beam he uses the third beam. So what ends up happening is every beam is different. What he needed to do was use the first beam for every beam to follow. We should be using Jesus' beam to measure our churches by......they sure would look alot different then they do now.
    Ahhhhhhhhh friend
    we need to skype!
    could write to you all day about such matters.
    Your heart is beautiful Amy. Have the courage to follow it!

    love and light