Lately it's interesting to find myself a bit angry about religion again, and the lies that I swallowed and lived under for so long.
I am not not not wanting to bash anybodies church, pastor or leadership here.
I am talking about religion.
I am talking about the modern day religion of western civilization's Christianity here.
If you are a friend on facebook, one of those areas I had asked about lately is the whole area of "calling".
Another area that has come up in me is the whole, "finding the perfect will of God" area.
O my gosh! How deep does this stuff go in me? Heesh!
I have lived a life of fear believing these teachings.
I have lived a life of not stepping towards anything, believing these teachings.
It has stripped me of my hearing and knowing my own heart and the simplicity of how God leads me through my heart for years.
Of LIVING my life.... just living it, enjoying it in the freedom He has given to me to enjoy it out of fear that I am doing it wrong.
Realizing this after my hubby and I have had some intense conversations about some big decisions that we have coming up...this whole are roared it's ugly head.
"What does God want us to do?"
Both of us look at each other blankly and completely clueless.
The following day I heard God whisper to my heart,
" What kind of Father do you know Me to be? One who sits back and watches my children grovel and cry out in angst and confusion? With hundreds of directions that they could step toward? What kind of Father doesn't speak up and bring direction? What kind of Father doesn't trust His kids? Trust the wisdom that I have placed inside them? The heart that carries life and direction? "
My answer, " It makes you a cruel and heartless Father."
His answer, " Yep. What kind of Father do you know me to be, Amy? Cruel? Heartless?"
Me... " No, Papa.. You are love. All I know of you is kindness and compassion towards me when I feel deaf and blind. You are my Papa who holds my hand, and has shouted through my heart, my desires of what way to go...and You trust me. You have shown me that you trust me..."
Abba answered, "I don't hide from you. I won't. I want you to always know the way. I have given you LIFE...it's a gift, Amy! A gift! So LIVE it... grab a hold of it.... ENJOY it... don't fear it but, step towards it, embrace it! It's FOR you! LIVE! I have given you a good brain to think, and make decisions... just use it and LIVE. I am with you always. LIVE!!!!"
He might as well have been shouting it to me, I could hear it so loud.... LIVE!
How long have I chosen to not do anything for fear of doing it wrong?
Why oh why would we ever teach people to not follow the simple ways that God leads us through our heart, desires and hopes??
It's a simple way of living, and religion has massacred it, and chained people up...bound them with fear of "doing it wrong".
It's so simple.
LIVE, He says... and LIVE is what I am gonna do.